Sunday, March 15, 2009

Replacing the Lord as the Foundation of Who I AM!

“For the sorrow that is according to the will of God produces a repentance without regret leading to salvation, but the sorrow of the world produces death.”
2 Corinthians 7:10 NASB

We all go through trying times in our relationships, especially our marriages. It's been a difficult couple of weeks at the Root House. As Jason has began a closer more intimate walk with the Lord the last 6 weeks, including being baptized with the Holy Spirit, we've experienced calls on our life, and joys like never before. But, with a fresh indwelling of the Holy Spirit, comes conviction, repentence, and confession. God in His infinite mercy gives us the opportunity to cleanse our hearts and our minds of our sins. Some of the things Jason has confessed have been difficult for me as a woman and a wife to accept. As God has blessed us in very specific ways over the last couple of days, confirming His presence throughout the healing process, it also purified me in ways I never expected.

I have failed to realize the pedastal I placed my husband on in my life. I had mistakenly used my faith in his devotion to me and purity to me as a rock of my foundation upon which I built my self esteem, my hope, and my security.

Satan would have my foundation crumble along with any violation (no matter how insignificant by the world's standards) on Jason's part.

When God through His word says You are to have no other god's before me. He means it. When we proclaim All Glory is His, All honor is His, You are all I need Lord, You alone sit on the throne, you are my rock, He expects us to mean it, and all other substituions will fall short, will crumble, will hurt us.

My self esteem, my hope, my worthiness, my future, all of those are supposed to be built on Christ. I had unintentionally built them on my husband, or at least an unhealthy portion of them, and whenever he chose to stumble, I risked crumbling myself.

So, I had my own confessions to make. My own repentence and forgiveness to ask for.

Jason is a gift to me from the Lord. He is called upon by God to be a protection for me and our children. He is a gift of companionship and enjoyment. He is a source through which my Father provides for us financially, emotionally, and physically. He fulfills in me everything the Lord has set aside for Him to fill. And nothing more.

So I thank the Lord for the fire we have walked through, for His protection in it, His mercy and grace in the timing and healing process. For the power by which He uses all things for His Glory!

An intimate walk with the Lord and with your partner cannot survive with secrets. They are an open doorway for Satan, a foothold for him to gain access in your life. The pain and temporary discomfort of revealing them is nothing compared to the destructive power they can have when left in the dark. I honor my husband for his transparency. For confessing everything, even the simple things such as being sorry for even kissing or holding hands with girlfriends he had before we were together. (So sweet) From the small, to the massive, he is allowing the Holy Spirit to purify every portion of his past and his future, and I am so thrilled to be married to a man who has committed himself to the journey with such abandonment.

I praise My Father for our AMAZING marriage, our UNBELIEVABLE family, and our BLESSED life. It is because of Him that we are closer, stronger, and more resiliant than ever.

Just as a note to show honor to my husband, Jason has read and approved my words here because everything we do is for God's Glory. We shall overcome by the word of our testimony.


Debra said...

GO GOD! My heart is filled with joy! I am so excited for you guys! I am blessed that we are sisters. Love you!

Mimi Martin said...

I am so so excited about your new expanding family - especially now that I'm reading the book "There is No Me without You" -- I cry with racking sobs at times over the fate of these precious little orphans. You are the lifeline to one or two of those precious souls. BTW, "Mimi" in Anharic means "Girl." That's me!!!